Parallel Universe Descends on White House

It finally happened. We should have known this day would come.

President Donald J. Trump finally lost track of his lies when he made a surprise appearance in the White House press room and strode to the podium where he turned his back on the reporters and addressed the wall.

He said, “All my lies have been lies.” Then he left the room, backing out and slamming into the door before turning and heading back to the Oval Office.

Everyone in the room was dumbfounded. How were they to interpret what he just told them.

Heretofore, all he ever uttered was a lie. Now he was telling them that his lies were lies. Logically, that statement also is a lie.

But, that would mean that all his lies have been the truth. Constant fact-checking, however, had shown them to be untruths. He said Canada burned down the White House in 1812, but it didn’t; the British did. His assertion was a flat-out lie.

Arguing among themselves, some of the reporters suggested that maybe for the first time ever, Trump had told the truth. The rest of the reporters broke out into unrestrained guffaws at the ridiculous idea.

Yet, they could not offer a counter-argument.

Just then, Sarah Huckabee Sanders entered the room for her daily press briefing.

Asked about the President’s statement that “All of my lies have been lies,” Sanders denied that he said Sanders2it. Then she added with characteristic snideness, “What he said was all of his truths had been truths. You biased bastards are just trying to twist his words again.”

When the reporters almost as one offered to play back his statement for her, she said not to bother, she would still deny it.

“Does that mean you won’t deny it?” shouted one of the reporters.

“Watch FOX news, they’ll straighten it all out for you,” she said, slamming her folder and walking out of the room.

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